This little piggy went to market--the farmer thought he was viable meat, so he chopped him up into (Canadian) bacon.
This little piggy stayed home--he was lucky; Jeremy the Homicidal Psychotherapist was on the prowl that day.
This little piggy had roast beef--then he was mauled by a Mad Cow.
This little piggy had none--he was mauled anyway.
This little piggy went wah-wah-wah all the way home--he was not looking where he was going, and ran into a tree. Poor piggy.
The first little piggy was displayed on the farmers stand, where he was bought and promptly eaten.
The second little piggy became paranoid, so he saw Jeremy the Homicidal Psychotherapist anyway.
The third little piggy caught Mad Cow Disease, and proceeded to rant at a local beef butchery. He was immediately dumped into the Pacific.
The fourth little piggy, although also mauled, did not catch Mad Cow Disease. However, he was placed in the hospital. Unbeknowest to the hospital staff, he was placed by Sally the Kleptomanic Seductress. Not long after, she stole his heart. Literally.
The fifth little piggy was injured very badly. The doctors diagnosed him with brain damage. Poor Piggy.
The parents of the first little piggy were overcome with grief. They tried to sue the farmer. A day later, they appeared on a shelf in nice plastic packaging.
The parents of the second little piggy went to see Jeremy. The father's face was stripped off and the mother was stuck in a hole for a few days.
The parents of the third little piggy went and protested at the same local butchery as their son. They tasted very good with eggs.
The parents of the fourth little piggy reported the hospital to the officials. Sally denied everything. Finally they convicted her after stealing the parent's hearts--again, literally.
The parents of the fifth little piggy kept him home, where he is to this day. Poor piggy.